Dealing with anxiety and depression: Path to the other side

Several months ago I wrote a post describing what it has been like for me to deal with anxiety and depression. At that time I was wondering if I would ever find the right combination of coping skills and or medications. I knew I was pretty close to hitting bottom, since I had been there before, but I decided that I wasn't going to let that happen. I've tried really hard to find ways to keep myself busy to prevent me from being anxious or depressed. I've been more aggressive with my doctor when I don't feel my medication is working and making sure it gets fixed. Most importantly, I haven't given up.

During previous bouts with long-term anxiety or depression I would go to a psychiatrist for a while, try a few different meds, and then give up figuring that I was never going to find something that worked. Every few years I would convince myself that I was ready to try again. For some reason this time it was different. I was tired of it getting the best of me. I was tired of being angry, sad, frustrated (fill in the blank with any other emotion). I was tired of letting it affect my relationships with my family, friends, and co-workers. All I have ever wanted is to just be. Instead of having the wild ups and downs associated with a hypercoaster like the Mamba, I have been in search of a way to have my life be more like a kiddie coaster: no high hills, steep drops, or breath-taking excitement. Finally, I think I might have found that path.

Prior to my last appointment with my doctor he had increased my dosage of my medication. Within a week I began to feel better. Within 2 weeks I was feeling great. Since then I have generally just been doing okay. I haven't been elated with joy, but I haven't been deeply depressed either. Simply put, I have been content. Along with adjusting my medication I found the other key was to stay busy. Whether that be putting up/taking down Halloween decorations, doing mountains of leaf removal because of my two big oak trees, putting up Christmas decorations, building web sites. or simply playing video games I have been too occupied to have enough free time worry or be overly excited about anything.

I discussed this with my doctor and he found my experience interesting, but not at all surprising. He had recently read an article that showed an inverse corelaition to the amount of TV watched and someone's happiness. More importantly, they found that those people generally just kept busy. Whether it was reading, yard work, a hobby, or even video games those folks were generally content. They didn't have large peaks and valleys, just general bumps and dips in the road. I was somewhat surprised that playing video games was an effective way to stay busy at first. However, my doctor pointed out that playing video games requires a lot of problem solving skills, and admittedly there are more constructive actives to do, but video games are a much better use of time than simply watching TV.

Don't get wrong, I still watch TV. I have about 6 shows I watch on a regular basis, but since I have a DVR I just watch my shows in between projects. I have been limiting my time that I just mindlessly watch TV while channel surfing. Additionally, I don't want people to get the impression that I think video games are my savior. I simply wanted to share some anecdotal evidence of my own experiences.

Finally, I feel it is important that I share that I feel like I am on the right path. There are still areas in my life that I need to work on. I need to work at dealing with my anxiety a little better in particular. To be trite, if life is a journey not a destination, then so to is my well-being. I don't foresee a time that I will say I'm perfect. As I said, that's not my goal. I just want to make use of each day the best way I can and be able to accept that things generally end up being okay.